Updated: To F.B.I.: Pimp/Hooker In Crotch-Lengthed Minidress

At 11 pm, approximately, a Caucasian, 22 year-old, female, pimp/hooker in a crotch-lengthed, dark minidress tank/sheath style, was getting out of a white minivan with dark, tinted windows in my apartment parking lot. Please send female, feminist, police to find out who and why they were near me in the dark parking lot. She was 5'4, 110 pounds, shoulder-length, dark auburn hair, straight, light complexioned (fair), medium reddish brown eyebrows, with brown eyes.

I found a plastic sandwich sized ziploc in the parking lot, last week. Hopefully that covered, black pick-up truck with 99...PYM license plates was found. I believe them to be Albanian, German, Italian, Sicilian and Russian drug cartels in the area. They may be stealing classified maps at the Denver Federal Center, along with U.S. government vans to kidnap the nearby vulnerable, illiterate, minority, latchkey, schoolchildren near my apartment. We need more afterschool programs to get them into a proper I.B. curriculum, that teaches Stranger Danger, religious tolerance, feminism, gun safety, fire safety, and self-defense.