To N.C.I.S., C.I.A. & All U.S. Navy Petty Officers: Jeffco Open School area, Lakewood, CO:

Please bring in 5,000 of the Hells Angels-looking Vice Law Enforcement to keep the children in my apartment building safer. It seems safest, from what I've observed, if both male and female, Master-At-Arms from the U.S. Navy, can step forward and pretend to be gangsters, drug cartel kingpins, female pimps, and Hell's Angels.