TO ALL PUERTO RICAN-AMERICAN MUMS: ADVICE FROM CHILDREN HOPING TO BE U.S. NAVY SEALS:

IF YOU CAN CONTROL ANY GITMO PRISON GUARDS, GO AHEAD AND INSTRUCT THEM INTO THOSE HANNIBAL LECTOR RESTRAINTS WITH FACE MASKS. YOU MAY NEED TO FIND A "MALE MODEL" SUBSTITUTE FOR THIS. ROLL THEM OFF HELICOPTERS WITH FEMALE F.B.I. TO VISIT EACH SUPERMAX PRISON CELL. LATELY, I FIND THIS ADVICE TO BE MOST IMPRESSIVE. LET'S DO THIS AT SAMHAIN SINCE THAT MAY ACTUALLY WORK. MAKE SURE "GITMO PRISON GUARDS" ARE EACH 350 POUNDS.