UPDATED: TO HOMELAND SECURITY DENVER:

THE COLORADO LICENSE PLATE "007-..." BLACK CHEVY SUV
CAUCASIAN, FEMALE, BROWN HAIR, STRAIGHT, LONG, NO BANGS, IN HER 30'S, 5'5, AND 150 POUNDS APPROXIMATELY, PARKED NEXT TO THE PROPANE TANKS AT WAL-MART'S FRONT ENTRANCE (11:30 A.M. TODAY, 440 WADSWORTH BLVD, LAKEWOOD, CO) IS A TERRORIST.