TO ALL POOR MUMS IN COLORADO:

AFTER WAKING UP FROM A NIGHTMARE ABOUT MY REPRESSED FEARS ABOUT NOT BEING ASIAN ENOUGH, SINCE I WAS RAISED BY BOTH IRANIANS, AND GERMAN TEACHERS, I HAVE TO SQUEEZE MY POCKET-SIZED, STUFFED "NUU-NUU'S."

THAT IS THE HAWAIIAN NAME FOR MY TINY, STUFFED MONKEY. I AM GOING TO NEED TO LAY DOWN IN THE FETAL POSITION, AND PRETEND I AM LAYING ON THE BENCH NEXT TO THE JESUS STATUE AT THE MOTHER CABRINI SHRINE FOR AN HOUR. THERE, ONLY BAMBI DEER EXISTS. THE REALITY IS THOSE CATHOLICS ARE NOT JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES FROM NORTHERN VIRGINIA. THEY ARE NOT LUTHERANS FROM EVERGREEN, COLORADO.

***THE LOS ZETAS, AND NAZI, CAUCASIANS BELONGING TO AL-SHABAAB WILL HOPEFULLY ALL BE FOUND IN COLORADO TODAY.***