TO ALL ASIAN-AMERICANS AND VETERANS:

IN HARTFORD, CT, WITHIN A 10,000 MILE RADIUS FROM THE CENTER OF ONE CORPORATE PLAZA, PLEASE BRING IN ALL SECURITY GUARDS FOR MONTHLY, RETINAL-SCANNING, AND LEGITIMATE DRUG-TESTING. THOSE MALE, ARMED, BANK HQ, SECURITY GUARDS NEED INTERNATIONAL, 500 YEAR, CRIMINAL BACKGROUND CHECKS EVERY DAY, UNTIL WE FIND THE KILLER HEROIN DRUG DISTRIBUTION LEADERS. IT'S WORTH IT TO FIND EVERY NAZI AGAIN.