TO ALL FEMALE, MINORITY, FEMINIST A.C.L.U., AND N.A.A.C.P.'S U.S. SPECIAL FORCES, FROM ENLISTED:

SINCE THE CHINESE TRIAD, OUTLAW MOTORCYCLE GANGS AND ISIL TERRORISTS ARE STEALING U.S. POSTAL SERVICE MAIL, FROM EVERY POST OFFICE, BLUE MAIL DROP BOXES, PLEASE CONTACT FEMALE, MINORITY MUMS IN NATIONAL GUARDS, TO SECURE THOSE LOCATIONS, FOR A FAIR, PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, AND TAX SEASON. THEY NEED TO RETINALLY-SCAN AND LEGITIMATELY DRUG-TEST ALL POSTAL EMPLOYEES, EVERY TWO WEEKS, INCLUDING THE IMPERSONATORS OF THE U.S. POST OFFICE, PICKING UP MAIL FROM ALL BLUE, U.S.P.S. DROP BOXES.