To Feminist, Minority N.C.I.S., C.I.A., & N.S.A.:

Remember that postnatal (1997, May) massage from Pearl Harbor, Hawaii Naval Station, at the base recreation center, by a Caucasian, female, massage therapist?  She was inappropriately massaging too close to my private parts. Please bring her and all the people who trained, licensed, and cleared her security clearance/background check to N.C.I.S. infant rape specialists. They will need to remove her and all of her people from any position of trust.