TO ALL N.C.I.S., C.I.A., AND F.B.I.:

THE SECOND FLOOR, CAUCASIAN, FEMALE NEIGHBOR WHO JUST GOT DROPPED OFF BY THAT VIOLENT, WHITE, SPEEDING, ROAD-RAGING, PICK-UP TRUCK DRIVER, HAS BEEN FURTHER VANDALIZED. THE TOP OF ONE BIRD STATUE HAS BEEN COMPLETELY SMASHED IN HALF AT THE FRONT DOOR. HOPEFULLY, ALL ABUSERS THAT WERE NEAR THEM WILL BE ARRESTED.