TO ALL ORTHODOX CHRISTIANS IN VIRGINIA:

LET'S CREATE A PLAY WHERE EVERYONE PRETENDS TO DRIVE THEIR CARS PAST 666 VEHICLES, AND TRUCKS WITH PRESSURIZED TANKS NEARBY A TWIN PEAKS FOOD ESTABLISHMENT. HAVE A VETERAN FROM VIRGINIA SCREAM OUT TO THEMSELF, "NO, DON'T CROSS YOURSELF! RESTRAIN FROM ANY CHRISTIAN BEHAVIORS AND LANGUAGES! GET TO A CHURCH PARKING LOT, BEFOREHAND. THE SPIRIT OF SATANIC WORSHIPPERS CAN'T REALLY CONTAMINATE YOU. YOU'RE FROM VIRGINIA! STOP WATCHING THOSE MOVIES ABOUT ST. MICHAEL, COMING BACK DOWN, TO EARTH, AS AN URBAN-DWELLING HUMAN, IN SOME SPIRITUAL WARFARE, WITH LUCIFER!"