TO ALL POOR VETERANS WHO HAVE HAD BAD HAIR DAYS:

AS YOU CONFIGURE YOUR NETWORKS AND GUIDE PEOPLE INTO THEIR LIEUTENANT'S OFFICE CHAIRS, REMEMBER TO CREATE A LITTLE MORE STYLE AND PANACHE FOR THEM.

PERHAPS THEY NEED SOME HIGHLIGHTS FOR THEIR GRAYING HAIR. SUBTLE, HIGHLIGHTS, IN THIN STRANDS ALL OVER THEIR HEADS MUST BE FREE WITH THEIR HAIRCUTS.

THEY'RE POOR, SO USE THEIR LIGHTEST, NATURAL HAIRCOLOR FROM WHEN THEY WERE 25 YEARS OF AGE, AND SPEND EXTRA TIME BLOW-DRYING IT FOR THEM. CLEAN UP THE UNEVEN BITS OF HAIR AFTERWARDS.

***FOR MEN'S HAIRCUTS, PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE ALL THEIR SIDEBURNS, OR MAKE THEM TOO POINTY.***