UPDATED: TO C.S.P., HOMELAND SECURITY DENVER, N.C.I.S., AND C.I.A.:

LAST WEEK, THE SECOND FLOOR NEIGHBOR HERE, THREE APARTMENTS FROM THE MAILBOX STAND HAD A SMASHED, BIRD STATUE. SOMEONE BROKE THE TAIL OFF OF ONE OF THE PAIR OF MATCHING, GREEN-MOSSED, AND WHITE-COLORED, BIRD STATUES. THE MOTORCYCLE GANGS WERE DRAG-RACING IN LARGE PACKS, AROUND THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, ON HARLEY DAVIDSONS YESTERDAY AFTERNOON, AT TWO P.M. APPROXIMATELY. BE CAREFUL, AS THESE CRIMINALS INCLUDE AT LEAST A DOZEN HELLS ANGEL-TYPES OF PEOPLE, IN NUMBERS. THEY THREW BEER CANS ALL THE PARKING LOT FROM YESTERDAY TO 5 A.M. THIS MORNING.