TO C.S.P., HOMELAND SECURITY DENVER, N.C.I.S., AND C.I.A.:

TWO LARGE, CAUCASIAN MEN WERE RUNNING UPSTAIRS, IN JEANS, WITH FLEECE, LONG-SLEEVED TOPS, SHOUTING LOUDLY LAST WEEK, WHILE CARRYING A CASE OF BEER, ONTO THE THIRD FLOOR, LAST WEEK. THEY TOOK THE STAIRCASE NEXT TO THE PARKING LOT. THEY SEEM TO BE IN THEIR TWENTIES, PIMP-LOOKING, AND PIMP-ACTING THERE, LIKE ROMAN, FROM RRCC, LAKEWOOD, COLORADO, ENGLISH COMPOSITION II CLASS. THEY WERE POSSIBLY THE SAME ONES SHOUTING ABOUT BREAKING WOMEN'S HIPS, AFTER LAST MONTH'S SNOW STORM.