TO ALL ASIAN-AMERICAN, FEMINIST VETERANS:

HOW TO TELL YOU'RE A FIRST-GENERATION, ASIAN IMMIGRANT:

1. EVERYONE IS FULLY-TRAINED ON COOKING, BAKING, STEAMING, ROASTING, GRILLING, FISHING, PROCESSING SEAFOODS, CLEANING, LAUNDRY, DISHES, USING CHOPSTICKS, USING MEAT CLEAVERS/HUGE, KITCHEN KNIVES FROM THE TIME THEY CAN ATTEND SECOND GRADE.

2. YOU CAN'T WATCH CABLE, OR DATE UNTIL AGE EIGHTEEN, BUT YOU'RE ALLOWED TO STUDY THREE HOURS PER DAY OF THE BIBLE/GO TO TEMPLE/VOLUNTEER/DO ANYTHING FOR SCHOOL.

3. SNAKE, ELEPHANT, ANACONDA SURVIVAL AND SHARK ATTACK STORIES ARE PART OF YOUR CULTURE.

4. YOU DON'T TRULY UNDERSTAND CURSE WORDS, SLANG OR PIDGIN IN YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE.

5. THE MEN AND THE WOMEN ARE SEATED AT SEPARATE DINING AREAS DURING DINNER PARTIES.

***I SUSPECT THAT DONALD TRUMPS WILL ALL NEED TO BE RE-INVESTIGATED IN ASIA.***