DEAR TWINKIE:

IN AN IDYLLIC, BUDDHIST, SHAMBHALA KINGDOM, THE WARRIORS ARE DIFFERENT. THERE, THEY CHEW PINK/GREEN, WATERMELON, BUBBLE GUM TO ADDRESS FRUSTRATION, INSTEAD OF SCREAMING TO NON-CAUCASIAN VETERANS TO "GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY." IF ANGRY, THEY LOOK FOR STRING CHEESE WITH JOKES. AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, THIS WORLD OF KKK, NAZIS, LOS ZETAS, IN DENVER, COLORADO DOESN'T COME VERY CLOSE TO SHAMBHALA/HEAVEN.