To Feminist C.I.A., N.S.A., N.C.I.S., & F.B.I.:

Remember John Ian Whitmore's Top Secret (I.T. for U.S. government) friend from D.C. Metro, Robert, a 250 pound, African-American man, with the severe back pain issues? It turned out he later raped two women at the same time, F.B.I. Please find him and all his people, especially the Top Secret-clearanced ones. He and his pimps, of both genders, pose a risk to national security. Please bring them all into N.C.I.S.