To All U.S. Navy Petty Officers: Operation Petty Needed:

Turning 50 in 2015
http://www.cnn.com//2015/01/05/showbiz/gallery/celebs-turning-50-in-2015/index.html

We'll need another Sicilian-American-led class-action lawsuit against these celebrities for looking this way at 50. Please create a Cake Boss-inspired, mega scroll (like the Dead Sea Scrolls) arrest warrant for each of them in ice cream cake form. No Millennial or Generation X Mum can have healthy self-esteem because of them. They continually steal our potential mates from us and cause us to eat full-dairy fat ice cream cake. We need to gather together in self-defense of them.