To Feminist, Minority D.E.A. S.O.D.:

The Colorado ISIL terrorists have switched to using" Y," "W," and" U" instead of "V" letters to indicate their ranks, for 1,2,3 chevrons. The pets on petfinder.com named Bella, or any terrorists I've previously reported will need to be brought in, to N.C.I.S. Please bring in all Caucasian terrorists to the African-American, U.S. Navy SEALS from poor, within N.C.I.S., D.E.A. S.O.D.