Texas Three-Alarm Chili Kit From King Soopers

I love this chili kit, and it would have tasted better if I could make ground chorizo, Mexican-style from scratch for it.

There's a YouTube video on Columbian sausage meatballs, wrapped in plastic, tied into little sections and then boiled. Afterwards, you unwrap the sausage meatballs. It had no recipe though.

I think everything should be wrapped into coconut, banana or ti leaves, so here's my recipe for chorizo:

Equal parts of the following three meats:

Mahi mahi fillet, fresh, sashimi-certified, boneless, ground, finely

Organic rattlesnake meat, ground, finely

Organic rabbit meat, ground, finely

Seasoned with the Texas Three-Alarm Chili Kit from King Soopers (following directions on the back, but omitting the salt packets)

Add into the mixer:

5 grams of organic garlic salt per pound of meat

2 Thai chili peppers, fresh, pureed, per pound of meat

1 cup of minced, Maui sweet onion, fresh, per pound of meat

1 cup of ground pork bacon, reduced sodium, hickory smoked, uncooked, per pound of meat

Instead of sausage casings, and pricking the sausages, wrap it up into a German coiled sausage or kielbasa shape inside of coconut, banana or ti leaves.

Put it into a cold smoker, and then grill it.

It should be unwrapped, sliced, turned into fish soft tacos, then wrapped in lightly-steamed, organic daylily blossoms instead of tortillas.

Garnish it with a spicy, tomatillo salsa verde (by Stonewall Kitchen) and fresh, chopped, cilantro leaves.

For the cold smoker:

A-MAZE-N Pellet Smoker, with Pitmaster's Choice smoking pellets
($50, approximately, from bbq-brethren.com)

A concrete patio

An old, metal filing cabinet (lead-free, 2-drawer,  the bottom removed, with metal-cutting shears)

Fire-bricked surface for the filing cabinet (extend the fire brick surface so there's a foot extra all-around, and triple-layer it)

***Don't leave it unattended and have a Home Depot bucket of baking soda nearby to put out a grease fire.***

Link for fancier solutions to grease fires that everyone needs:

http://www.rockymountainfire.org/howdoi/kitchen.htm